*Originally published in Medium.
For as long as I can remember, I always lead with kindness.
New friends, old friends, there’s always room for everyone and kindness was my door, always has been.
I believe that as long as you’re kind, truly, deeply kind, you create ripples that goes beyond what you can imagine. It leaves mark on people you meet and the places you go. It’s how we build bridges, and heal wounds and create long-lasting relationships.
But, in this world we live in, kindness sometimes gets taken for granted. It sometimes gets misunderstood — or worse, misused.
It’s a strange feeling, realizing that what I intended as friendship, or connection was misunderstood as flirting, and when I pushed back, stood firm on my boundaries and said “no,” the dynamic shifts.
Initially, they saw my kindness as a warm welcome, a green light, or as an open door to something more.
I was kind.
That’s not the problem.
It’s their assumption. The assumption that every politeness or act of care serves as an invitation to my space (without even asking), a space I never offered in the first place.
Why can’t some people accept kindness without an agenda? Why can’t people accept that friendship can be just that — friendship?
Why do they have to take every kind word as flirting, or every support as just encouragement?
Over time, I learned that not everyone can read between the lines. Not everyone understands that just because you opened your door, it gives them permission to just bust in.
It hurts, not because I lost a friend whose intentions were questionable in the first place, but because I realized how easily people misunderstand kindness and politeness.
The problem is we live in a world where we see kind gestures through the lens of romance, instead of simple human connection.
Because at the end of day, I wanna live in world where kindness is enough, where it is given truly, fully and on your own terms.
You deserve friendships — and any kind of relationship — where your feelings are respected, your boundaries are honored, and your kindness isn’t mistaken for something it’s not. 💛
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